RobertSpuhler.com

Spam, Spam, Baked Beans and Spam

Today I received both the best and worst penile enhancement spam email subjects.

The worst: "Bomb her womb from your huge cannon!"

Yeah, I'm not really looking for my ... "cannon blasts" to be in the womb area, thanks. I like kids and all, but...

The best (and simplest): "Update Your Penis"

When you think about it, aren't these emails aimed at the lonely nerd population? So why not make it sound like you're just, um, adding a driver or two? It's like Penis 2.0, but without the possibility of the blue screen of death!

How to Spot Art

I've fallen in love with this painting/drawing/something that serves as background for a YouTube video:

I sent a message to the video's creator ... no dice.

Has anyone seen this before?

'Round the Internet(s)

Back online (more on that tomorrow, but here's a preview - "[Expletive] Time Warner in its [expletive] [expletive] [expletive]"). Here's three places to go in the meantime:

LAist Interview with Mark Z. Danielewski (and if you don't own House of Leaves and Only Revolutions, put down the Internet and go get them NOW)

AmericanSoccerNews.net - Chivas Tops West

and...

"Whatever the mess you are, you're mine, okay..."  (and this is the live version - I was there!)

Link of the Whenever

It’s not nice to make fun of people based on their appearance. It really isn’t.

That’s why Hot Chicks with Douchebags definitely isn’t funny. No. Not at all. It’s not funny to mock an entire generation of young males, raised on the idea that those round hair gel containers are single serving, that Richard Greico is the height of alpha-maledom, that it’s right and good for it to take guys longer to get ready for a night out than women.

So, it would be horribly irresponsible of me to tell you all to go to Hot Chicks with Douchebags. Irresponsible.

New Toy

Starting later this month, I'll be doing some online writing that will also require photographs (more info soon), so I've finally broken down and joined the 21st century...

Internet Time Wasting

I thought it was silly until this came up...

I'm a goddamn marvel of modern Spuhler.

Which movie was this quote from?

Get your own quotes:

I promise - real post later.
(Thanks to Cecil.)

Fun With Google

Someone found his/her way to my site tofday by searching for the following string: porn Ivy Ghana.

God bless the Internet.

Pimp My (Spec) Writing

I've been approached to start writing for an online music review archive, reviewing concerts in and around Los Angeles. I was asked to submit some clips online, but most of my best stuff (that I still have, at least) is sports. My best music clips were on my old, dead computer.

So, I had to write a new one. You only get one guess as to the subject.

More Fun with MySpace

(I know, I know – it’s a lot of MySpace on the front page. But the “social networking” site makes me laugh very, very hard sometimes. And besides, it totally makes me cutting edge. I’m, like, hip, or something. Is that the right usage of “like?”)

I was only gone six hours. I left the apartment at 9 a.m. or so and headed into the IvyWest office for some SAT training. I got back around 3 p.m.

In that time, nine people wanted to become my friend! Nine! That’s a larger number of friends than I had in high school!

So, just like in high school let’s rank them, worst to first: